Well we’re about 2 months in to the new year but I haven’t written a new post this year so Happy F**kin New Year!!! Well Rufio and I got back together only to call it quits a week later. He should be in New York and I’m so glad to have him 3,000 miles away from me. That wasn’t love it was lust and it fizzled as lust does. Well, my beautiful baby, my car, was having some issues so I had to sell her. It was sad but I have a new baby now! I got my first new car and I couldn’t be more happy! It gets great gas mileage and it is super sporty! The payment is a bitch but I can handle it. I’m back in school and I joined this volunteer group on campus, U-Group. It hasn’t been going well. I am trying to step out of my box and be more social, more outgoing, and just a better me all around. But the other people in the group are so unwelcoming to me. Everyone gets along fine with one another but when it comes to me. They’re all so fake, rude and just awkward. I feel like I have nothing in common with many them. Crystal said maybe it’s that I am Black Gay Man and I was like ok! Well I can’t change any of that so f**k them all. There are a couple of people who are really cool and I wish everyone else was like them. I’m going to try to stick with it, it lasts until the end of summer, but if today doesn’t go well I’m going to have to quit. My mental well being is the most important thing to me and I just don’t leave are meetings feeling like a better person.
School is going great and I am learning to be more disciplined. I need to learn how to leave my house to study. I find it to be so hard seeing as I love to be in my own space, I don’t like crowds and sometimes I have to pee and I’m so paranoid someone will steal my stuff. So I pack everything up, take a leak, come back and unpack everything. It’s so exhausting! I’m going to try it this weekend. I was as horny as a teenage boy on prom night this past weekend and I wanted to get f**ked so badly. Wow I’m using f**k a lot in this post, f**k! Well anyway I trolled the likes of craiglist, gay.com and a few other sites. With the mindset that if a hot enough guy comes along. I will compromise my values, beliefs and all of my morals to have a night of hot sweaty mind blowing sex!!! I didn’t have sex. Sad I know.
BUT! I’m glad I didn’t and I did meet a cute guy. We chatted for awhile and that kind of went no where but he did say he wants to hang out soon. After deciding not to date until “The One” comes along, I realized I won’t know “The One” until I date some more “Wrong Ones” so that’s what I’m gonna do. So I’ll keep you updated. Tell me about it!!!
