So Many Things

I should post more maybe people would start reading this thing. Anyway I am so like depressed right now and it kind of came from no where. I've battle with depression for the past 6 years and I thought I was ok, but I'm not. The problem is it's so many things that I can't wrap my head around trying to heal myself. I was doing so good for the past year and a half but things have changed radically and I'm having a hard time coping. My friends are so self-involved that I have found myself ignoring them completely just so I don't have to deal with there bull; more on that later. School is ok, better than ok, but living at home and having to balance my responsibilities is wearing me down. I've seriously been trying to make new friends and for whatever reason it's not working for me. I've also been trying to date just so I can feel young and sexy : D but I have not had any luck. That has been bringing me down as well. I go through my phases of deleting all my accounts and just not even attempt to date; I get a little like, "Oh, I'm missing out" so I create the accounts again and just hate the guys online. Seriously it's like "only interested in white, it's a preference, I'm not racist" and that is coming from black guys, asian guys and latin guys! I guess all I can do is laugh or cry whichever comes first but I've gotten used to the racism from white guys but to see this coming from other ethnicities is so heartbreaking. It's like I can't find comfort anywhere! The sad part is, if this post wasn't sad enough is that I am so horny! I would love to be able to just f*ck someone and I actually have no prolem finding guys for that, but because I've waited so long I just can't bring myself to do it.I can't wait to do a happy post I know it's coming. Tell me about it!