This feels like familiar territory.

I’ve putting off this post for awhile because I am kind of embarrassed but I am not perfect. Rufio and I got back together. If you’re keeping track this is the third time that we have gotten back “together”. He sent me a text saying that he wrote me on facebook and he would like me to read it. So I did. He pretty much said that he didn’t want me to think of him as a bad experience and all that. I texted him and said that it took a lot of courage to send that and thank you! We talked and went over everything that we think went wrong blah blah… He asked me what do we do now? I said this feels like familiar territory and that I’m not sure. So we said we’ll try again. We hung out last Friday night. My car was in the shop so he picked me up and we went over to his place. His friends came over and it was kind of awkward but they were cool. He kept talking about his ex boyfriend and it was pissing me off. They left and we just went to bed. We woke up and went to eat and he actually took me to get out test results from a month ago. He doesn’t have anything and I don’t have anything. We we’re supposed to hang out Wednesday but he had something come up. Apparently he went to see family in L.A.

I was kind of upset because he picked that day to hang out and he said family comes first. Which I would never argue with but why wasn’t this planned in advance? It makes me seem crazy if I’m mad. I wanted to send him a break up text but I didn’t. I’m trying to be adult about this. We’re supposed to hang out this weekend but I don’t like that everything is on his time and terms. Everything else is going pretty great! My car was in the shop but its back in full form, the job hunt as cooled but I am optimistic something great is coming my way and school is almost over so I can’t wait to be done. Tell me about it!

Major Music: Mega Video Post

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

Lady Gaga - New Music - More Music Videos

Rihanna - New Music - More Music Videos

Alicia Keys - New Music - More Music Videos

Leighton Meester - New Music - More Music Videos

These are some of my favorite songs and videos of the moment. Of course, Beyonce is in there along with Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Lady Gaga and Gossip Girl's resident bad girl Leighton Meester, who brought the ever so sexy Robin Thicke along for the ride. Check em out!

Major Music: Britn3y Sp3ars

Britney Spears - New Music - More Music Videos

So Ms. Britney has a new video and song out and I'm loving it! It's very naughty, it's very suggestive, it's...very Britney! The song, 3, is about having a threesome. I know, how disgusting...haha Personally, a threesome isn't my thing but I also have never had sex so I guess you can't knock it til ya try it. Max Martin, they guy who wrote Brit's first hit baby one more time and her recent controversial hit If You Seek Amy, penned this little ditty. Britney looks the best she has looked in a long ass time in the video, but she still seems a little out of it. The video could of been way better but of course they, I have no idea who they are, had to mess it up. Check it out!

I'm celibate...

Well, I guess I wasn't having sex to begin with so...I've always been celibate. Hmmm...why do I try to be more clever than I actually am? Anyway Rufio and I are dunzo. He was being flaky and I couldn't handle it. This was after we had a great night out and after I stayed over at his house for the first time. I think I just liked the attention he gave me. Don't get me wrong. I think he is a great guy, but he’s not for me. He's moving in December anyway so I mine as well be heartbroken now. I actually have been dealing with it pretty well. I had myb24 hour post break-up breakdown and have been feeling better ever since. I've been reading, working out, going to school, laughing, crying (just kidddin), and hanging with family and friends. I'll be a better person because of this and I now know what I want from a MAN. I'll miss being with him but he was just the beginning for me and to think I was about to give up my boogina to him, Noah's Arc reference, get with it! The Universe was really looking out for me. Thank You Universe!

I talk a lot about being a gay and a virgin, but I haven't talked being BLACK a whole lot. Well I'll start now. We are doing presentations in one of my classes at school. One of the groups presented on Men and Music. Let me just say that if you’re going to talk about something that might not seem like it’s going to offend anyone but you end up making it offensive that you should really do your research and become more educated on the topic; especially when you are presenting the topic to a group of your peers. That was nice right? These three men who happen to all be of the Caucasian persuasion starting presenting and of course Hip Hop was the first genre they talked about. I had a bad feeling the minute the picture of Tupac Shakur came up. They pretty much generalized how all “black” hip-hop is bad and how Tupac was a “gansta”, please! I was offended to say the least, disappointed in their lack of preparation and how they took the easy way out for their presentation. I say this because they didn’t talk about Eminem, who is the biggest selling rapper of all time, and his role in this violent medium. When they mentioned Jay-Z, who I feel has become less about violence and sex, they referenced his Big-Pimpin video. While that video did glamorize money and sex; it was from 1999!!!!! Use a recent Jay-Z video if you’re going to villainies him! In fact, use Eminem’s Stan video if you want to show what is wrong with Hip-Hop! What was mind boggling is that we just watched a documentary from Jackson Katz, which showed how the men in Hip Hop are emulating White Italian gangsters and how most of Hip Hop is distributed my White corporate men. So for them to make this half-baked presentation was blasphemy to me. As they move from Hip Hop to country. One of these highly enlightened individuals said how if only country would become more mainstream. Maybe just maybe it would filter into other forms of music and it would make these “black” men less violent. Of course he didn’t say black but he implied it. They also talked about rock music but failed to mention punk, grunge and heavy-metal rock. Which some believe to be violent and downright evil. How can you say how violent Hip Hop is, which it can be don’t get me wrong, but not talk about Marylin Manson and how he was blamed for the Columbine shootings. While I don’t think Marylin was to blame many public figures did and it was a big moment in American Music history. The whole presentation just came off as a little biased to me. We have to do peer evaluations and I’m assuming I don’t have to tell you that I didn’t give them a 10 out of 10. Tell me about it!

I Love Beyonce!

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

I love Beyonce! If I could die and come back as anyone, I would most likely come back as this Goddess. She's amazing! I get goosebumps when she opens her mouth. I feel a weird tingling sensation in my loins when she gyrates her hips. Which usually only occurs when I see a hot guy gyrating his hips, but I digress. Beyonce performed my favorite song, Sweet Dreams, off her double platinum, double disc effort, I Am... Sasha Fierce at the European MTV Music Awards. Although, I haven't seen the rest of the performances from that night; I know my girl "B" stopped the show from this performance alone. Check it out!