Are We Cool?

Let me start by saying that I wasn't planning on getting back together with Rufio BUT we are back together. I think I mentioned how I was going to delete him from facebook and his number from my phone. Well I did and the next day he sent me a text saying are we cool? I actually waited to respond because I wanted to think about the question. At that time I wasn't sure if I wanted to respond or not. 15 minutes later he texted me again saying nevermind. I couldn't help be a little giddy knowing that he was getting so upset. I texted him the next day saying that we were cool. I guess he hadn't noticed that I deleted him from facebook yet. So the next day he texted me saying why did I delete him and blah blah... I ended up calling him and we just had it out. It was pretty tame and we just got what we were feeling about the situation out. Pretty much he said he was giving me space and I said I was giving him space and when HE didn't call for THREE weeks I decided to move on. Well we made up and we're "dating" again.

We saw each other Wednesday night and we just walked around the gayborhood before having dinner and dessert. Everything was cool and when I drove him to his car I was expecting a kiss, I didn't think it was unusual. He was like no! WHAT!!! I was schocked. I was persistent and I finally got the kiss I wanted. His lips are amazing and I can't resist them. So we made plans for Friday night, yeah twice in one week, I still can't believe it. I rented a scary movie, Drag Me To Hell to be exact, and headed over to his house. The movie was so funny and not as scary as I thought it would be. As usual I was very into the movie and we barely touched or talked, I was thinking about it of course. After it was over. I tried to get frisky but he wasn't having it. This was funny to me because usually he initiates things. I wouldn't take no for answer, I hadn't turned him down before, so I felt entitled ya know. We fooled around a little then we would stop. I told him that he didn't seem into it at all and he said that he was tired of me teasing him. He says that we mess around and then we don't have sex. So he wants to go all the way and I understand that. If I wasn't a virgin I probably would have fucked, excuse my language, the hell out of him already. I don't know. I just need that one big sign that tells me he's the guy I'm supposed to give it to. We've done everything else, well like oral and what not. So I feel comfortable with him but I don't know. He told me to text him when I got home and he hasn't done that before so I took that has a sign I should keep seeing him. I dont' want to tease him but I'm not ready to go all the way.

To make things worse during our little break. I kind of hooked up and although I'm not ashamed. I told all my friends and my sister about it, I didn't tell him and in return with my guilty conscience, I interrogated him to make sure he didn't sleep with anyone during that time out. I'm such a hypocrite I know. Also, I'm still talking to other guys because I'm not sure if he want to be exclusive and I don't, I CAN'T be the one who gets his heart broken. I think we need to have a date night again and have a little talk about the status of our relationship. Well its Saturday night and I think I need to get drunk or something. Tell me about it!